“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat he fruit thereof” (Prov.18:21).
Time of misunderstanding with a spouse is always a delicate and a trying moment. It requires cautiousness, restraint, and self-control. It’s important to always be cautious of your verbal outburst. (Prov. 4:24). It is easy to regress into temporal insanity in times of provocation. The point is not to pretend or suppress feelings but to manage it; not allowing feelings to take over reality. The Bible says, “be yea angry but sin not; let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” (Eph.4:26) Don’t allow temporal issues to destroy permanent reality. Feelings are temporal. If there is too much abuse and damage during times of anger, relationship may be destroyed beyond repair.
Your home is a triangle, you and your spouse are the angles at the foot, and Christ is at the top, watching!
Remember the words of Apostle James: “if any offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle his whole body.” (Jas.3:2). The key is the ability and power to manage emotions. Learn to control your temper regardless of circumstance. The best approach to this is to learn to keep quiet. “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” (Pro. 17:28). It is better to say nothing than to say something you would either regret later or wished you never said. Even in law, “you have the right to remain silent because anything you say may be used against you in the court of law.” Your tongue is a world of creation. “…the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.” ( Jas 3:6) Book of Proverb says:”Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof” (Prov.18:21).
Your home is a triangle, you and your spouse are the angles at the foot, and Christ is at the top, watching! If you agree with this how about giving this third Person in your triangle (home) the benefit of direction in your home so there can be a flow. Don’t judge or condemn one another, let Christ be the referee between the two of you. Paul says; “…but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” (2Cor 10:12) Let Him be the fair umpire, and will judge righteously. “For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus” (1Tim.2:5).
During such time of misunderstanding, make it a policy to always attack the problem, not your spouse. Don’t refer to past issues or make unholy reference to mistakes of the past, or even assault your spouse’s loved ones during such moment of insanity. Be humane enough to fight issues, not people. Face the matter, not anyone else.
If you bite the problem the way you bite your spouse, the problem will be over sooner. At a time like this, silence can be golden.
It is human to be angry but in your anger, sin not! Events will pass, but the words you speak at such time may haunt you forever. Be wise! Control your tongue before it sets your world on fire. -Bola Olu-Jordan
Prov 10:19: In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.